A False Sense of Security

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Oh sweet security,

Dope up my insecurities.

Subjected to influence my mind and reality.

As you sold your idea to us as children, through programming and communal acceptance.

Promising my place in society with the love of my life, governed by deed, law and consequence.

To civilize security as constitution pledges towards me, “If you join this tribe, we will give you all the security and opportunity you’ll ever need.”

And civilisation I was born into.

I demanded my priveleged entitlements.

Give them to me in a job, with zero transparency about where my money comes from.

Give them to me through loans, as I buy housing I can’t afford upon.

Wrap it up in unity and signature.

A deed that promises me half of his and hers security.

Boundaries so tight, we minimise the risk of the unfamiliar, the path away from linear.

Marriage, the asset.
Children, the investment.

We place security in contract, buying homes extending our pockets, convincing ourselves of by our own influenced illusions.

When we tick off all the boxes of ownership, we secretly feed our deep underlying issues of insecurity.

And then denial strikes.

In-denial about death, our idea of love, our own happiness and its meaning.

We bury our thoughts and shame as our roots sow upon the ideaology of belonging.

Then, people turn to alcohol and drugs.

Find the highs in sex and lust.

Become unattached, ‘unfaithful’, and ultimately lost until death seems rational.

Some of those people used to end up in front of me back in my PT days, stemming the same underlying issue:

That security was the claim to cling onto.

“Do it for the kids.”
“I’m tied to the mortgage.”
“I can’t lose half of my belongings.”

Security is the temptress,
A Disney film bent on lust.

Feeding off the juicy ticks of your running out clock,
Right before your heart stops.

And up until then, many wasted years and beliefs… because one would be afraid…

Afraid to admit, incase the final pin triggered,

And the bomb opposite of promise goes off.

Maybe, just maybe..

You’ll be left to face the one issue at last,

That your sense of security, a life-long lie all along.

– A False Sense of Security